The Call of Jesus

    You say that I am not real, I do not exist.
I am nothing, merely a myth.
   But I've loved you all eternity, calling and
gathering you to me. A cross I bore to dark
Calvary, but you don't believe what you cannot
see.
   I created every part of you with the love of
a father. Molding you into the person you are.
   Can't you see me in all you do? See my
fingerprints on all creation? See me crying, and
dying, for you? Can't you see how you've broken
my heart?
   I died to save you, bring you home with me.
I long to pull you into my embrace, but you push me
away. Why won't you trust me? Let me carry
your pain, carry your heartache and shame!
   I have proved my love for you, by conquering
death and conquering sin.
   Please, don't give up faith. I stand beside
you, ready to help and guide you. All you have to
do is believe and call on me. Don't push me
away. Let me carry through the storms.
   I'm coming back soon, just wait and see. I'll
be taking home those who believe. Will you come too?
   I love you.

Rantings: Part II

   They do not know me, they can't see me. I will hide behind my outward appearance and let them flock to beauty, while I cling to my truth. And my truth will be all I need to withstand this coming storm. They will perish, but not I with them. They will die alone and I will be buried with my truth and my purity.
   I will remain aloft, afar from their sins and their blood will not stain my hands. They can sleep in their bed of coals and I in my oceans of calm, they are lies and I will no longer listen to them. Let them wallow in their self-righteous ways and I will keep myself to the quiet of silence and the peace of truth.
   They can't touch me. They are liars and I will not listen. Lies cannot penetrate me, will never touch me. Strength is within me, weakness is in their lies and I will not listen. No longer. No more. No man will capture me any longer.

Lies

   You loved me, or so you said.
It's sad that I believed your lies.
I can't believe that I actually
believed you. And, yet, I love you.

I Never...

I never realized when I said good bye, it would be the last time we ever spoke. I didn't realize that you would just walk out of my life like that, leaving me standing here, broken and cold. I thought you loved me, but I guess not. Or maybe you never did and this was all a lie, a lie that I have lived with. Or maybe it is my fault that you are now gone, maybe I wasn't good enough. All I know is that you have left me to myself, and I loved you.
I loved you with so much of myself that it hurt and now I realize that I never understood. Everything reminds me of you, songs and people on the TV. How could you leave me? Desert me like you did, was I not broken enough before you? People tell me that I deserve better, but maybe I didn't even deserve you. Maybe I deserve the pain that you left me in and maybe I deserve everything I have ever experienced.
But I loved you! I Loved You, with so much of my soul that there was none left to give anyone else. My heart lays in disrepair, shattered by the love I had for you. If love is like this, I don't want any part of it. Love is a poison. But what a beautiful way to die. I fear this love which destroyed me and now I lay here, broken and bleeding. I can take this no longer. Let me die, because this is no way to live.

Clouds

   That cloud's a semi.
That one's a trout.
And that, well, that's the dust of God's
footprints settling out.

Haunted

   I can hear her voice, her screams.
   My body trembles under the strain of her
pain, under the graze of her fingertips.
   She has been stolen away, a ghost, a
muse. Dark and torn she has lain in death's
mysterious pain.
   Her screams are those of one unjustly taken,
a prisoner within herself, trapped. I can see
her, she has no name, no face. But she is there all
the same.
   The whole of me trembles under her anger
and sorrow. And all she wants is for it to
end, to be peaceful once again. In her eyes
all I see is that this corpse, this ghost, is
me.

Cemeteries

  I stood at the edge of my reason, staring deep into the abyss of oblivion. It looks beautiful, the sparkle of a million stars reflected in the black mirror.
  I stood at the edge of my cemetery, blanketed in crimson leaves. I could hear the moans of a thousand dead rising on the wind that shook the trees and shook my soul.
   I stood at the edge of my life, watching it fly past on black gossamer wings, tipped in the blood of my broken soul. I could not breathe, because of the lack of air and could not see because of the lack of light. Darkness wrapped its arms about me and I was swept up in its arms.
   I stood at the edge of forever, praying that I wouldn't fall into the depths of oblivion. A girl, much like myself, stares back at me, her eyes blacker than black. I long to touch her, because she seems so much more lovely on the other side of a black mirror. I touch her face and I die a little, trying to reach her side of the glass.
   And now, I stand with her on her side and I long to return to the sun and those sparkling stars that no longer shine. Darkness is a friend, but he is never kind to those who resist. And I still hear the moan of a thousand dead riding the screams of the lonesome wind, as she whips through the naked trees of autumn.