Saturday, April 26, 2014

Waiting for Someday

"Patience, child."

They all say that. They all want me to be content with this lot in life; be content with the speed of scummy pond water.

"Patience is a virtue, child."

They don't understand how impossible it is to be patient when you know that just beyond the horizon line is LIFE. Not the 'life' you've been living lately. Not the 'life' they have planned for you.

"Be patient." they say.

Its just noise. How can you be happy on the ground when you were meant to fly? How is it that no one else can see that? Don't they know that those words are as heavy as chains dragging you under the waves?

"Life will come when it will."

But isn't life what you make it? This life was meant to be lived, why wait to live it?

I'm not waiting for someday.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Imperfect God

I am not looking to be saved.
Nor, am I looking to be rescued.

I don't need someone to come in and die for my sins.

I need someone who is willing to stand by me through the hard times.
I need someone who is willing to hold my hand through the worst times.

I don't need a God that exists somewhere in the ether.
Possibly listening to me,
Maybe answering,
Maybe not.

Maybe forgiving,
Maybe hateful,
I don't need that.

I need someone who can be God in flesh.
Someone who forgives me,
Someone who loves me,
Someone who takes care of me.
And who is willing to stand by me no matter what happens.

I don't need omnipotence.
I need closeness.
I don't need foreknowledge of what's going to happen.
I need... I need vision.

I need vision to look forward and say,
"Maybe this will happen and maybe it won't, but, no matter what happens, I'll be here."

And the God in Christianity doesn't give me that.
The God of Islam does not give me that.
Buddha doesn't give me that.
None of the Gods give me that.

None of the Gods are FLESH.

I need someone who can hold me when I'm crying.
I need someone who can wipe my tears away.
I need someone to be in love with;
Not just metaphorically speaking.

I don't need righteousness.
I don't need blessedness.

I need fallibility.

I don't want perfect.
I'm an imperfect being.
I want an imperfect God.

Its so much easier to love a God who has fallen short,
than it is to love one who has never fallen at all.