There is a pain within me, which rages deep within my soul. It burns,
scars, my view on life. It kills me inside, destroying me further with
every breath. I have no more to live for. Forgive me and my sins. It
maybe selfish, but its an end to all the hurt and numb pain. Do not cry
for me, only remember my happiness. Only remember everything, but this
one.
I loved you all.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Running Away
I take my life into my hands,
I want to leave so I'll take a chance.
I refuse to stay and slowly
die. Hiding further and further inside.
I'm leaving, I won't remain
prisoner, who's only friend is a chain.
I want to leave so I'll take a chance.
I refuse to stay and slowly
die. Hiding further and further inside.
I'm leaving, I won't remain
prisoner, who's only friend is a chain.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Desperate
I wish there was someone, anyone, who knew the truth behind the
facade. Can no one see the scars? Can no one see that I'm trying to find
a way out? Am I that good of an actress that no one can see me?
I've been to the doctors, I've taken the pills. No more, I can't take it anymore and I want to die. I'm tired of feeling, tired of feeling so weighed down that I can't breathe. I want to live, but I want to die. Will someone please hear me? Please, listen to my crying.
LISTEN TO ME!
I'm slipping further and further away and you don't even see it! Why aren't you paying attention to the signs? Don't IGNORE me!
Look at ME! Look AT my WRISTS! Look IN MY EYES! You can see my soul if you look, just LOOK! Open your eyes and see me, before I'm gone. Before its to late!
I've been to the doctors, I've taken the pills. No more, I can't take it anymore and I want to die. I'm tired of feeling, tired of feeling so weighed down that I can't breathe. I want to live, but I want to die. Will someone please hear me? Please, listen to my crying.
LISTEN TO ME!
I'm slipping further and further away and you don't even see it! Why aren't you paying attention to the signs? Don't IGNORE me!
Look at ME! Look AT my WRISTS! Look IN MY EYES! You can see my soul if you look, just LOOK! Open your eyes and see me, before I'm gone. Before its to late!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
To Forgiven: May 06 - March 07
I stand, crying, on the side of the road. My
heart aches, so raw and broken, deep within
my chest. Such a pain, on could never express.
I can't breathe, can't draw in any air to
my thirsty lungs. I can't speak, can't see
anything amidst the tears. Your body.
If Charlie Chaplin had been a cat, he
would have been Forgiven, my Forgiven, my
baby.
And here I stand, crying on the side of
the road. I can't breathe, can't speak, I
don't understand. My heart, my soul, can't
take this pain. Your lifeless body resting in
the grass. Poor baby, my baby.
My Forgiven.
heart aches, so raw and broken, deep within
my chest. Such a pain, on could never express.
I can't breathe, can't draw in any air to
my thirsty lungs. I can't speak, can't see
anything amidst the tears. Your body.
If Charlie Chaplin had been a cat, he
would have been Forgiven, my Forgiven, my
baby.
And here I stand, crying on the side of
the road. I can't breathe, can't speak, I
don't understand. My heart, my soul, can't
take this pain. Your lifeless body resting in
the grass. Poor baby, my baby.
My Forgiven.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Look
If you loved me, you
would look into my
eyes and realize you
are killing me inside.
Love kills the soul
and then destroys
the mind. It shatters
the world and leaves
it thirsty and blind.
When will it finally
be my turn to be
happy?
would look into my
eyes and realize you
are killing me inside.
Love kills the soul
and then destroys
the mind. It shatters
the world and leaves
it thirsty and blind.
When will it finally
be my turn to be
happy?
Thursday, October 25, 2012
For all Eternity
If love is true it will last for an eternity. Never letting go, holding on forever, chorusing through the lover's veins.
Grasping, straining, reaching for each other. Believing in the wonders of love. Touching each other's souls with tender fingertips.
The stars do not shine, except when they are with each other. Kisses and hugs don't even begin to express the heart's true feelings.
The voices of love combine with guitar's strumming. They crescendo to a lovely, haunting, pitch. Even the yellow daisies turn to listen.
If love is true it will last for an eternity. Never letting go, holding on forever, chorusing through the lover's veins.
Grasping, straining, reaching for each other. Believing in the wonders of love. Touching each other's souls with tender fingertips.
The stars do not shine, except when they are with each other. Kisses and hugs don't even begin to express the heart's true feelings.
The voices of love combine with guitar's strumming. They crescendo to a lovely, haunting, pitch. Even the yellow daisies turn to listen.
If love is true it will last for an eternity. Never letting go, holding on forever, chorusing through the lover's veins.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Simply Put
When the day's light is dimming and the night's candles
are lit, I will carry on loving you. Forever and always.
are lit, I will carry on loving you. Forever and always.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
The Sunrise
Rises each morning from her shadowy bed. Rising
to greet the world with warmth and light.
to greet the world with warmth and light.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Seas
Raining o'er a white capped
sea, clouds blacken and thunder
rolls. Lightning is like wandering
ghosts cast of the heavens
with a flash.
The waves roll o'er top of
each other, smothering the one
below.
sea, clouds blacken and thunder
rolls. Lightning is like wandering
ghosts cast of the heavens
with a flash.
The waves roll o'er top of
each other, smothering the one
below.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Sundown
Sunlight disperses evil intent, which moonlight conjures it like
a witch.
The dark hides the thoughts and drowns out cries. Everything
is hidden from naive eyes.
Evil flies on the wings of the dawn, while wickedness follows
the heels of sundown.
a witch.
The dark hides the thoughts and drowns out cries. Everything
is hidden from naive eyes.
Evil flies on the wings of the dawn, while wickedness follows
the heels of sundown.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Grasping Ocean Floors
I'm sinking deeper, tied down and drowning.
Falling farther than ever before. The water is
cool here, calming my heart here.
I'm slipping under, trying to grab onto my last
breath. Sleep, no longer fleeting, death sweet
and calming. Gently lift me, floating and crying.
I'm dancing under, crawling down deeper. Tied down
and drowning, cool here. I'm not seeing anything,
except the water around me, covering my soul.
I'm falling farther, emptying all I know. Collapsing
under the pressure I'm feeling. Caressing the
bottom, grasping the ocean's floor.
I'm sinking deeper, tied down and drowning.
Falling farther than ever before. The water is
cool here, calming my heart here.
When I die, I'll slip further into deep rest.
Falling farther than ever before. The water is
cool here, calming my heart here.
I'm slipping under, trying to grab onto my last
breath. Sleep, no longer fleeting, death sweet
and calming. Gently lift me, floating and crying.
I'm dancing under, crawling down deeper. Tied down
and drowning, cool here. I'm not seeing anything,
except the water around me, covering my soul.
I'm falling farther, emptying all I know. Collapsing
under the pressure I'm feeling. Caressing the
bottom, grasping the ocean's floor.
I'm sinking deeper, tied down and drowning.
Falling farther than ever before. The water is
cool here, calming my heart here.
When I die, I'll slip further into deep rest.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
These Hills
Turbulence fills these hills.
Pain and death cover these
woods like frost. Moans and
cries fill the air 'til there is
no room to breathe
I walk these hills 'til I
see the pain, feel the cries,
taste the turbulence of these
hills. I sing this song with
these hills. Deep, old and
secret lies the heart of
these hills, broken and bleeding
lie the pieces.
Sleep does not exist in
these hills. Blood caresses the
earth like summer rain.
Streams of water dance over still
forms and silence screams
as death takes another partner.
The earth trembles under the weight
of these hills.
Pain and death cover these
woods like frost. Moans and
cries fill the air 'til there is
no room to breathe
I walk these hills 'til I
see the pain, feel the cries,
taste the turbulence of these
hills. I sing this song with
these hills. Deep, old and
secret lies the heart of
these hills, broken and bleeding
lie the pieces.
Sleep does not exist in
these hills. Blood caresses the
earth like summer rain.
Streams of water dance over still
forms and silence screams
as death takes another partner.
The earth trembles under the weight
of these hills.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The Blood Road
Crimson paints a beaten highway.
Weary feet tread through the empty
desert, splashing through bloody pools.
Bodies of the broken and lost lie
strewn along the path. Silence echoes
in the darkness.
Peace lies dead, dressed in a bloody
gown. Happiness lies beside her, by
heavy chains weighted down.
Sadness wanders and cries, she is lost
and alone. Guilt taunts her as they move
down the road.
Death laughs at the havoc she has caused.
She sits on her throne of bones and carnage
and watches the turbulence.
Crimson paints a beaten highway.
Weary feet tread through empty
desert, splashing through bloody pools.
Weary feet tread through the empty
desert, splashing through bloody pools.
Bodies of the broken and lost lie
strewn along the path. Silence echoes
in the darkness.
Peace lies dead, dressed in a bloody
gown. Happiness lies beside her, by
heavy chains weighted down.
Sadness wanders and cries, she is lost
and alone. Guilt taunts her as they move
down the road.
Death laughs at the havoc she has caused.
She sits on her throne of bones and carnage
and watches the turbulence.
Crimson paints a beaten highway.
Weary feet tread through empty
desert, splashing through bloody pools.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Your Kind of Love
I've tried to move past
the pain of you, but no
matter what I do I can't.
My poor heart remains in
pieces, charred and scarred
by your kind of love.
Desperately, I try to scrub
you off my skin, erase
your memory. Purge myself
of thoughts of you, cleanse
my soul of your kind of love.
Asleep and your face
brings nightmares, dreams
of what could have been. I
lay still and your face
haunts my mind, your kind of love.
Killed me with your kind
of love, destroyed all hope of
life with your kind of love.
Left and betrayed by your
kind of love.
the pain of you, but no
matter what I do I can't.
My poor heart remains in
pieces, charred and scarred
by your kind of love.
Desperately, I try to scrub
you off my skin, erase
your memory. Purge myself
of thoughts of you, cleanse
my soul of your kind of love.
Asleep and your face
brings nightmares, dreams
of what could have been. I
lay still and your face
haunts my mind, your kind of love.
Killed me with your kind
of love, destroyed all hope of
life with your kind of love.
Left and betrayed by your
kind of love.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Fast Train to Heaven
Carry me home on that fast train to heaven. I wanna feel it rock and
roll all the way up to those pearly gates. Let that train carry my
sorrow and worry to the arms of the Lord. Rest this fleeting body in
that bed of Earth and let me ride that fast train to Heaven.
Ride away on that fast train to Heaven. Kiss all your cares and pain away. Bid this world an overdue goodbye and board that fast train to Heaven.
Wanna see my Jesus face to face, say goodbye to all my cares. No more tears, no more shame, washed by the blood of my friend, Jesus. Sweet comfort found in the arms of my Saviour, gotta board that train.
Ride away on that fast train to Heaven. Kiss all your cares and pain away. Bid this world an overdue goodbye and board that fast train to Heaven.
When all is done, songs been sung, and I'm laid to rest, gonna sing a new song. As I ride that fast train to Heaven.
Ride away on that fast train to Heaven. Kiss all your cares and pain away. Bid this world an overdue goodbye and board that fast train to Heaven. Fast train to Heaven.
All Aboard!
Ride away on that fast train to Heaven. Kiss all your cares and pain away. Bid this world an overdue goodbye and board that fast train to Heaven.
Wanna see my Jesus face to face, say goodbye to all my cares. No more tears, no more shame, washed by the blood of my friend, Jesus. Sweet comfort found in the arms of my Saviour, gotta board that train.
Ride away on that fast train to Heaven. Kiss all your cares and pain away. Bid this world an overdue goodbye and board that fast train to Heaven.
When all is done, songs been sung, and I'm laid to rest, gonna sing a new song. As I ride that fast train to Heaven.
Ride away on that fast train to Heaven. Kiss all your cares and pain away. Bid this world an overdue goodbye and board that fast train to Heaven. Fast train to Heaven.
All Aboard!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Observations
What a sad life we lead, tears fill the empty moments even when none
are shed. Hope is a butterfly that disappears after we see a glimpse.
Life is a circle that one day ends, but keeps turning after we're gone. Love never seems to find those who need it most, and chocolate doesn't cure heartache.
Fragments of stories, love and tragedy, seep into our generation. The dark-side of the moon is where our curiosity lies, as well as our hopes and dreams.
Life is a circle that one day ends, but keeps turning after we're gone. Love never seems to find those who need it most, and chocolate doesn't cure heartache.
Fragments of stories, love and tragedy, seep into our generation. The dark-side of the moon is where our curiosity lies, as well as our hopes and dreams.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
These Silent Stones (To America)
These silent stones remember not the blood that
was shed upon their stern faces. Nor do they recall
the love I wooed and lost, in their rocky presence.
They shan't e'er remember.
The silence envelopes these stones, much like the rest of
this world. We stand silently, faces stern and set, not
caring to recall how this country was founded. Not
caring to recall God or His hand in our government.
No voice will we raise against the evils of this world.
No cry will escape our stubborn lips. Divided we will
fall. Shaken by attack we will stand. We have become
the source of many ills and wickedness.
What has happened to this country? We have become a
place where black still isn't equal to white. Where
prayer in school is wrong. Where you really don't have
the right to your own opinions or freedom of speech.
Where Muslim means you're a terrorist, and being a
Christian is old-fashioned and narrow-minded. A place where
no one is innocent until proven guilty. A place where a
man's rights are played, yet never really there.
When will we see that we are headed for destruction?
America, when will you open your eyes and see the evil
you have become? Please, come back to God before it
becomes too late to be rescued!
These silent stones remember not the innocent blood
that was shed upon their stern faces. The blood of
innocent children cries out, but America will remember
not. She shan't e'er remember.
was shed upon their stern faces. Nor do they recall
the love I wooed and lost, in their rocky presence.
They shan't e'er remember.
The silence envelopes these stones, much like the rest of
this world. We stand silently, faces stern and set, not
caring to recall how this country was founded. Not
caring to recall God or His hand in our government.
No voice will we raise against the evils of this world.
No cry will escape our stubborn lips. Divided we will
fall. Shaken by attack we will stand. We have become
the source of many ills and wickedness.
What has happened to this country? We have become a
place where black still isn't equal to white. Where
prayer in school is wrong. Where you really don't have
the right to your own opinions or freedom of speech.
Where Muslim means you're a terrorist, and being a
Christian is old-fashioned and narrow-minded. A place where
no one is innocent until proven guilty. A place where a
man's rights are played, yet never really there.
When will we see that we are headed for destruction?
America, when will you open your eyes and see the evil
you have become? Please, come back to God before it
becomes too late to be rescued!
These silent stones remember not the innocent blood
that was shed upon their stern faces. The blood of
innocent children cries out, but America will remember
not. She shan't e'er remember.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Prisoning Shadows
Deep in the prisoning shadows, hide the ghosts of
past mistakes. Colliding and shivering in the
overwhelming darkness of guilt. Stained with
the yesterdays, unable to forget the pain and sin.
Refusing to emerge from the prisoning shadows
into the light. Afraid of their filth and the
carnage behind them. Afraid to face the wrong
that holds them in the darkness.
Tortured by their shame, held forever in their
emptiness. Soulless, grief-stricken and loveless,
they wait for the pain to stop. All the while, never
accepting the love that awaits them in the light.
past mistakes. Colliding and shivering in the
overwhelming darkness of guilt. Stained with
the yesterdays, unable to forget the pain and sin.
Refusing to emerge from the prisoning shadows
into the light. Afraid of their filth and the
carnage behind them. Afraid to face the wrong
that holds them in the darkness.
Tortured by their shame, held forever in their
emptiness. Soulless, grief-stricken and loveless,
they wait for the pain to stop. All the while, never
accepting the love that awaits them in the light.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Of the Earth
We are of the Earth, children of ghosts,
of wind. Buried beneath prejudice and
cruelty. Forgotten by the world, we are
dying out. Our traditions, our people,
fading into the abyss of history.
Forced to live on reservations, our
freedom, our hope, ripped from our
hearts and souls. Crying out for a
hero, one who will fight for us. One who
will save us from the cruelty and pain.
Why is every man created equal, but us?
No man is equal in the eyes of this
country. The white man is superior, all
others are dust to be trodden. When will
we be given back our right to live?
We just want to live, live in harmony
with the Earth around us. Justice for
our people, justice for all the dead.
Justice for all the wrong suffered at the
hands of a cruel government.
As a storm on the horizon, so we will
come. Fighting oblivion, fight the wrong,
fighting injustice and prejudice. All the
pain we have endured for hundreds of
years won't be in vain.
I am of the Earth, a child of ghosts, of
wind and thunder. Of the lightning, of the
raging sea, of ceaseless tears and pain. I
am of the night, a daughter of moonbeams and
shadows.
I am Native American.
of wind. Buried beneath prejudice and
cruelty. Forgotten by the world, we are
dying out. Our traditions, our people,
fading into the abyss of history.
Forced to live on reservations, our
freedom, our hope, ripped from our
hearts and souls. Crying out for a
hero, one who will fight for us. One who
will save us from the cruelty and pain.
Why is every man created equal, but us?
No man is equal in the eyes of this
country. The white man is superior, all
others are dust to be trodden. When will
we be given back our right to live?
We just want to live, live in harmony
with the Earth around us. Justice for
our people, justice for all the dead.
Justice for all the wrong suffered at the
hands of a cruel government.
As a storm on the horizon, so we will
come. Fighting oblivion, fight the wrong,
fighting injustice and prejudice. All the
pain we have endured for hundreds of
years won't be in vain.
I am of the Earth, a child of ghosts, of
wind and thunder. Of the lightning, of the
raging sea, of ceaseless tears and pain. I
am of the night, a daughter of moonbeams and
shadows.
I am Native American.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
To My Husband (whenever He comes)
Begin in me, stir in me, breathe in me a love I did not know. Press
your hand to my heart so that I may drink deeply from your wisdom and
knowledge. Let me know what you know, speak words I didn't even believe
were true, give birth to a whole new life within my soul.
Let me lose control and you gain it, let me sleep quietly in the haven of your arms. Be my protection and my warrior. Love me, be one with my soul and heart. Let God be your guide, so that you might lead me into His light. Help me bear the pain, help me stand whenever I fall. Be a man after God's own heart.
Say you'll be my best friend and lover, my warrior and gentle guide. Let me stray not to any other, but let me be your only. Your wife.
Let me lose control and you gain it, let me sleep quietly in the haven of your arms. Be my protection and my warrior. Love me, be one with my soul and heart. Let God be your guide, so that you might lead me into His light. Help me bear the pain, help me stand whenever I fall. Be a man after God's own heart.
Say you'll be my best friend and lover, my warrior and gentle guide. Let me stray not to any other, but let me be your only. Your wife.
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Forgotten Ocean
Deep inside of me is a forgotten ocean, one shadowed in
a misty haze of brokenness and empty silence. This ocean is
blue-gray in the darkness of my soul, a thinning slice
of a hopeful moon dancing on slowly rocking waves.
The gray shadows surround my heart as I sit on the
deserted beach. Silent screams echo across the expanse,
only the ghosts of yesterday remain. Storm clouds gather
together and break apart, never settling.
I stand alone on this forgotten beach, staring into the
forgotten ocean. Mermaid tears float along the top of
the ever-changing water, they glow in the fading light. I
long to scream.
I long to use my voice, speak what my broken heart
yearns to set free. Yet, my words remain deep within, hidden
and forgotten like this ocean. Trapped within a cage of my
own devising, I waste away.
I despise this ocean, this cage, these tears. If set free
I would never return. I would close the gates to this
ocean, throw the keys into the restless waters. I am
only a ghost, caught in waves of reality.
I open my mouth to speak, but my tongue is chained, my
lips forever sealed. I will not say these words which
bubble over like foam on an empty sea. In a tangle
of words, I write to ease my pain, a forgotten ocean.
Into the frigid waves I leap, into the arms of an icy
grave. She takes my heart and makes it stone, my breath
is caught. She tucks me under satin waves, closing my
eyes and stealing my will to live.
An icy lullaby caresses the empty air over a forgotten
ocean. All brokenness is now bound in death. Sweet and
tempered, held secure in strong arms beneath the
forgotten ocean.
a misty haze of brokenness and empty silence. This ocean is
blue-gray in the darkness of my soul, a thinning slice
of a hopeful moon dancing on slowly rocking waves.
The gray shadows surround my heart as I sit on the
deserted beach. Silent screams echo across the expanse,
only the ghosts of yesterday remain. Storm clouds gather
together and break apart, never settling.
I stand alone on this forgotten beach, staring into the
forgotten ocean. Mermaid tears float along the top of
the ever-changing water, they glow in the fading light. I
long to scream.
I long to use my voice, speak what my broken heart
yearns to set free. Yet, my words remain deep within, hidden
and forgotten like this ocean. Trapped within a cage of my
own devising, I waste away.
I despise this ocean, this cage, these tears. If set free
I would never return. I would close the gates to this
ocean, throw the keys into the restless waters. I am
only a ghost, caught in waves of reality.
I open my mouth to speak, but my tongue is chained, my
lips forever sealed. I will not say these words which
bubble over like foam on an empty sea. In a tangle
of words, I write to ease my pain, a forgotten ocean.
Into the frigid waves I leap, into the arms of an icy
grave. She takes my heart and makes it stone, my breath
is caught. She tucks me under satin waves, closing my
eyes and stealing my will to live.
An icy lullaby caresses the empty air over a forgotten
ocean. All brokenness is now bound in death. Sweet and
tempered, held secure in strong arms beneath the
forgotten ocean.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
The Call of Jesus
You say that I am not real, I do not exist.
I am nothing, merely a myth.
But I've loved you all eternity, calling and
gathering you to me. A cross I bore to dark
Calvary, but you don't believe what you cannot
see.
I created every part of you with the love of
a father. Molding you into the person you are.
Can't you see me in all you do? See my
fingerprints on all creation? See me crying, and
dying, for you? Can't you see how you've broken
my heart?
I died to save you, bring you home with me.
I long to pull you into my embrace, but you push me
away. Why won't you trust me? Let me carry
your pain, carry your heartache and shame!
I have proved my love for you, by conquering
death and conquering sin.
Please, don't give up faith. I stand beside
you, ready to help and guide you. All you have to
do is believe and call on me. Don't push me
away. Let me carry through the storms.
I'm coming back soon, just wait and see. I'll
be taking home those who believe. Will you come too?
I love you.
I am nothing, merely a myth.
But I've loved you all eternity, calling and
gathering you to me. A cross I bore to dark
Calvary, but you don't believe what you cannot
see.
I created every part of you with the love of
a father. Molding you into the person you are.
Can't you see me in all you do? See my
fingerprints on all creation? See me crying, and
dying, for you? Can't you see how you've broken
my heart?
I died to save you, bring you home with me.
I long to pull you into my embrace, but you push me
away. Why won't you trust me? Let me carry
your pain, carry your heartache and shame!
I have proved my love for you, by conquering
death and conquering sin.
Please, don't give up faith. I stand beside
you, ready to help and guide you. All you have to
do is believe and call on me. Don't push me
away. Let me carry through the storms.
I'm coming back soon, just wait and see. I'll
be taking home those who believe. Will you come too?
I love you.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Rantings: Part II
They do not know me, they can't see me. I will hide behind my outward
appearance and let them flock to beauty, while I cling to my truth. And
my truth will be all I need to withstand this coming storm. They will
perish, but not I with them. They will die alone and I will be buried
with my truth and my purity.
I will remain aloft, afar from their sins and their blood will not stain my hands. They can sleep in their bed of coals and I in my oceans of calm, they are lies and I will no longer listen to them. Let them wallow in their self-righteous ways and I will keep myself to the quiet of silence and the peace of truth.
They can't touch me. They are liars and I will not listen. Lies cannot penetrate me, will never touch me. Strength is within me, weakness is in their lies and I will not listen. No longer. No more. No man will capture me any longer.
I will remain aloft, afar from their sins and their blood will not stain my hands. They can sleep in their bed of coals and I in my oceans of calm, they are lies and I will no longer listen to them. Let them wallow in their self-righteous ways and I will keep myself to the quiet of silence and the peace of truth.
They can't touch me. They are liars and I will not listen. Lies cannot penetrate me, will never touch me. Strength is within me, weakness is in their lies and I will not listen. No longer. No more. No man will capture me any longer.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Lies
You loved me, or so you said.
It's sad that I believed your lies.
I can't believe that I actually
believed you. And, yet, I love you.
It's sad that I believed your lies.
I can't believe that I actually
believed you. And, yet, I love you.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
I Never...
I never realized when I said good bye, it would be the last time we ever
spoke. I didn't realize that you would just walk out of my life like
that, leaving me standing here, broken and cold. I thought you loved me,
but I guess not. Or maybe you never did and this was all a lie, a lie
that I have lived with. Or maybe it is my fault that you are now gone,
maybe I wasn't good enough. All I know is that you have left me to
myself, and I loved you.
I loved you with so much of myself that it hurt and now I realize that I never understood. Everything reminds me of you, songs and people on the TV. How could you leave me? Desert me like you did, was I not broken enough before you? People tell me that I deserve better, but maybe I didn't even deserve you. Maybe I deserve the pain that you left me in and maybe I deserve everything I have ever experienced.
But I loved you! I Loved You, with so much of my soul that there was none left to give anyone else. My heart lays in disrepair, shattered by the love I had for you. If love is like this, I don't want any part of it. Love is a poison. But what a beautiful way to die. I fear this love which destroyed me and now I lay here, broken and bleeding. I can take this no longer. Let me die, because this is no way to live.
I loved you with so much of myself that it hurt and now I realize that I never understood. Everything reminds me of you, songs and people on the TV. How could you leave me? Desert me like you did, was I not broken enough before you? People tell me that I deserve better, but maybe I didn't even deserve you. Maybe I deserve the pain that you left me in and maybe I deserve everything I have ever experienced.
But I loved you! I Loved You, with so much of my soul that there was none left to give anyone else. My heart lays in disrepair, shattered by the love I had for you. If love is like this, I don't want any part of it. Love is a poison. But what a beautiful way to die. I fear this love which destroyed me and now I lay here, broken and bleeding. I can take this no longer. Let me die, because this is no way to live.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Clouds
That cloud's a semi.
That one's a trout.
And that, well, that's the dust of God's
footprints settling out.
That one's a trout.
And that, well, that's the dust of God's
footprints settling out.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Haunted
I can hear her voice, her screams.
My body trembles under the strain of her
pain, under the graze of her fingertips.
She has been stolen away, a ghost, a
muse. Dark and torn she has lain in death's
mysterious pain.
Her screams are those of one unjustly taken,
a prisoner within herself, trapped. I can see
her, she has no name, no face. But she is there all
the same.
The whole of me trembles under her anger
and sorrow. And all she wants is for it to
end, to be peaceful once again. In her eyes
all I see is that this corpse, this ghost, is
me.
My body trembles under the strain of her
pain, under the graze of her fingertips.
She has been stolen away, a ghost, a
muse. Dark and torn she has lain in death's
mysterious pain.
Her screams are those of one unjustly taken,
a prisoner within herself, trapped. I can see
her, she has no name, no face. But she is there all
the same.
The whole of me trembles under her anger
and sorrow. And all she wants is for it to
end, to be peaceful once again. In her eyes
all I see is that this corpse, this ghost, is
me.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Cemeteries
I stood at the edge of my reason, staring deep into the abyss of
oblivion. It looks beautiful, the sparkle of a million stars reflected
in the black mirror.
I stood at the edge of my cemetery, blanketed in crimson leaves. I could hear the moans of a thousand dead rising on the wind that shook the trees and shook my soul.
I stood at the edge of my life, watching it fly past on black gossamer wings, tipped in the blood of my broken soul. I could not breathe, because of the lack of air and could not see because of the lack of light. Darkness wrapped its arms about me and I was swept up in its arms.
I stood at the edge of forever, praying that I wouldn't fall into the depths of oblivion. A girl, much like myself, stares back at me, her eyes blacker than black. I long to touch her, because she seems so much more lovely on the other side of a black mirror. I touch her face and I die a little, trying to reach her side of the glass.
And now, I stand with her on her side and I long to return to the sun and those sparkling stars that no longer shine. Darkness is a friend, but he is never kind to those who resist. And I still hear the moan of a thousand dead riding the screams of the lonesome wind, as she whips through the naked trees of autumn.
I stood at the edge of my cemetery, blanketed in crimson leaves. I could hear the moans of a thousand dead rising on the wind that shook the trees and shook my soul.
I stood at the edge of my life, watching it fly past on black gossamer wings, tipped in the blood of my broken soul. I could not breathe, because of the lack of air and could not see because of the lack of light. Darkness wrapped its arms about me and I was swept up in its arms.
I stood at the edge of forever, praying that I wouldn't fall into the depths of oblivion. A girl, much like myself, stares back at me, her eyes blacker than black. I long to touch her, because she seems so much more lovely on the other side of a black mirror. I touch her face and I die a little, trying to reach her side of the glass.
And now, I stand with her on her side and I long to return to the sun and those sparkling stars that no longer shine. Darkness is a friend, but he is never kind to those who resist. And I still hear the moan of a thousand dead riding the screams of the lonesome wind, as she whips through the naked trees of autumn.
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