Blood and Bone

   The blood stains the hands
and flows freely on. Crimson
never-ending slips through
the bars of flesh and bone.
   Empty chasms stand against
the frail shield of humanity.
The depths of which cannot be
counted or healed.
   Past these imprisoning walls
floods the weary soul. Onward
flies the desperate spirit,
stopping not to see life.

A Voice in the Dark

   I cried for a long time,
waiting for a sign, relief
from the pain couldn't be
found in cutting or wine.
   A voice in the dark, the
one I longed to hear,
your voice carrying me
here.
    Sleep is a weary traveler's
friend, death the broken-
hearted's. For my weary
soul bring a voice in the dark.
    A voice in the dark, a stir
of the echoes, silence in
place of death. Grasp and
hold my memories still.
    Tranquil lie the vows of
marriage, broken lie the
bands of love, bloody lie the
hearts of the weary soul,
longing desperately for love.

A Cry

   Save me, please. See me, bloody and broken.
Twisting, dying from the neglect. Bring me life, a token.

When I first Loved

   They say the sweetest dreams are those that come true. The ones that can be held in your hands and loved for an eternity. My sweetest dreams came true when I first loved you.
   When I first realized I couldn't live without your smile, and tender heart, I knew you were the one. You were the one I'd waited, prayed and longed for. You were my wish come true.
   You were so much more than a passing friend. You listened, you were always there for me, good times and bad. Your kindness showed me love, true love. You showed me love past all my pain.
   You became a confidante, my best friend. I felt comfortable sharing everything with you. Your advice and compassion were arms that sheltered me from many a storm.
   Despite what you think, I've loved you from day one. Something in my heart said that you would help me heal. God prompted me to speak.
   Without God's prompting, I never would've spoken, never would've shared my hurt. I didn't
feel comfortable talking to anyone. God saw a need and He sent me you.
   And now, as I confess my love for you, I hope you find you love me too. You were, and are, my dream that God saw fit to make come true.

Winds of October: Part II

  Grasp the silence in your hands and
sweep all distraction aside. Kiss my
lips and gently touch my skin. Create
a stirring in me that cries for you.
   Make me sing of the passion you have
given. Rake your fingers through my hair
and send shivers up my spine. You
are my one true love, the one I
will cherish forever.

Love Me

   Tell me you love me too! Please, say you won't leave
me all by myself in this lonely world.
   Please, love me! I, so, need someone to care about what
happens to me. Care if I live or die.
   I don't want to remember my pain, I just want your
arms around me. Holding me tight.
   Can you tell me you won't leave, promise me your love Forever?
Hold me close while I cry.
   Tell me you love me, please don't leave me alone. I've
been unloved and alone so long.
   Please, love me.

Silently Screaming

   Fear takes our breath. Not
the normal fear, but the fear
of an early grave, that haunts
our hearts. How did we get
involved in such a deadly game?
   History come back to haunt
us. A past we thought was
gone, now killing our closest
friends.
   How do we stop what we set
into motion? There is only one
answer, fear is not it. We
must stand up against that
which we fear the most.
   In the end succeeding. Yet
always wondering, fearing
for our lives. And those of our
loved ones.

Hollow Woman

   I'm not alive, I'm dead. I'm just not in the ground yet. I walk around, I can't feel, I don't see anything that could make me heal. I'm empty and broken, unlocked and open. Bleeding and dying, dead to it all.
   I'm in pain, yet I don't feel. I lay here trying to end it still. All the hell I've lived through, all the pain comes to a head. Why am I still breathing when I'm already dead? Why is my heart still beating and my blood still red?
   Why is Hell so long in staying, where is this God everyone says loves me? Where is He? Because I don't feel Him. I'm afraid of what I don't see, what reaches for me. I bleed darkness and sorrow, hidden in the hollow sound of the breaking inside my chest. The dull ache of all my pain around me wakes.
   I'm empty, alone, forgotten by all, when will I finally fall into my grave?

My End

   I'm falling apart, I feel sick. I'm
shaking, my stomach is churning. The tears are falling,
something is breaking inside.
   I can't breathe, my brain is reeling. All I can see is you
leaving. I'm screaming, I can't see through the tears I'm
shedding.
   This is how it must feel. This is how it is when your heart
breaks. I'm trying to put the pieces back, but this is it.
This is how it feels when the loves is gone and the world you
know has ended.

Breaking Ties

   My mind is confused,
my heart is broken and bleeding.
I want to tell you the truth,
but how can I?
   Tears quiver on my black
eyelashes and travel down
my cheeks. I'm trying to explain,
but you won't listen.
   I love you, but we can't
be. You don't understand, I've
been hurt before. You've been
kind, but you broke my heart.
   Please, understand, I love you,
but I've changed. I don't love
you, like you say I do. You
don't really love me the same.
   I'm something you want,
but I can't let you have me.
Because it won't work out.
And if it's meant to be then,
God's will be done. Let me
hug you and say goodbye. I
wish you the best and hope
you will still see me as a friend.
   My mind is confused,
my heart is broken and bleeding.
I want to tell you the truth,
but how can I?

Hidden Messages: Part III

Destruction and defeat
enclose around me. The dark
advances on my soul. Agonizing minutes
tick by as blood runs to the river, and
help escapes my grasp.

Hidden Messages: Part II

Ripping of clothing echoes,
adamant cries for help,
paralyzed by fear and pain,
echoes of darkness close in.

Hidden Messages: Part I

Starving for love, my mind
unsure of the world around me. My heart
is ill from lack of love. Pain and sorrow are
cutting deep into my soul. Pale skin shows
indents from my scars. My only escape,
death, is coming  quickly. Come, share in
everlasting pain and agony.

Going Back

   This is who I am, who I've become.
The girl you see isn't the real me. I've
been hiding for what seems like forever. The
other part of me tucked away so deep that I
couldn't find her. She slipped away to a
quiet place where she could see Jesus' face.
   This is who I am, who I've become. I'm
not fronting anymore. I refuse to hide who
I am, deep inside. I'm scared and alone,
but I won't back down, won't go back.
This is what I've become, I refuse to let
you bring me down.
   This is who I am, who I've become. You don't
control me, I won't let you. I'm not going
back and I won't go to my grave lie this,
I'm going to my grave, the real me, who I
was meant to be. Did you even care
enough to see?
   Jesus, hold me tight. I know I can't win this
fight, on my own. You've got to help me,
cause I'm not going to hide anymore.

Blackest Passions

   It is as if my heart is breaking into a million pieces. I just want it to stop, I just want the pain to end. Please, God, make it end.
   My soul is steeped in the pain I am feeling. I need an escape. Love will set me free? The truth will set you free? When? When do I get the love I greatly desire.
   I'm going crazy. Life isn't worth the living. It's empty and meaningless, devoid of all happiness I used to feel.
   Sleep avoids me, love ignores me, pain adores me and I abhor me. I just want to sing without crying, laugh without pain, dance without hate. Be me without fear of the ever-present darkness.
   I love the dark, but she refuses to stay by my side, leaving me alone. Desperate for a quiet place where I can let go, let live, let love... am I the only one who feels this?
   Pain is my only friend, intensity my lover, depression my only companion, end it! End my life and let me escape this prison. A prison I cannot escape, no matter what.
   Nothing matters anymore.

Breath

   Take a breath, slow down. I can't
talk if you're going around in circles.
You're out of breath and you are
cutting deeper than you've ever gone
before.
   No, I don't understand why
you want to destroy something so
precious as your life. Explain one
more time why the blood fixes
everything.
   I, too, understand the longing
for the pain, the rush of blood, but
I won't let you end everything.
I love you to much to let you
die, and stand serenely by.
   You can fly. Just spread
your wings, just take a
breath and soar. Sleep,
don't talk anymore. Quiet,
as you take a breath.

Jubilee (Pulse of Love)

  Let the music pulse through my fingertips. Let the rhythm flow through my body, like the blood that gives me life. Let my feet dance with joy that floods the soul, move to the beat of a song that makes me sing.
   Let my soul rejoice in singing, let my mouth overflow with praise. For a God who saved my soul and a man who died in my place.
   Let the love of a perfect God pulse through my fingertips, let it cover every part. Let the rhythm of His glory flow through my body, like the blood that gave me life. Let my feet dance with the joy of the Lord that floods my soul. Move to the beat of His love that makes me sing.
   Let my soul rejoice in singing, let my mouth overflow with praise. For a God who saved my soul and a man who died in my place.
   This body is the Lord's to the fingertips, to the very soul, my very heart. His life flows through my veins, His blood clothes me. I'm all His, all His. Forever safe, loved more than His own life. Giving His life, His blood covering my soul and I will forever...
   Let my soul rejoice in singing, let my mouth overflow with praise. For a God who saved my soul and a man who died in my place.

Alone

   She found herself, all alone.
Surrounded by people, yet all alone.
She looked in the mirror,
but all she saw was emptiness.
   She began to wonder if
life was worth the trouble she
went through. Was it worth the
pain she suffered?
   Her friends tried to show her
the worth she didn't feel. Tried
to love her beyond the pain,
help her move on.
   She lays in her bed and
tries not to cut, not start to
drink. The numbness overwhelms
her, she wants to feel something.
   Something beyond the numb
emptiness and desperate pain.
The blood is dripping, she's ripped
open the scars and destroyed herself.
   She's dead.

The Blues

   I don't know what my heart's gonna do
we're through, tired of bein' used by you.
Left me out in the cold, stranded away from
your heat. And in that time, while I was
so alone, you found comfort in another woman's
arms. Well I won't stand for it no more,
go on and head out the door.
   These are the blues, the blues. When you've
lost your man and been cheated on and on
and on. I've lost my man blues. Lost my man
blues.
   I don't know what my heart's gonna do,
I'm so blue over him. And even though
I know he'll break my heart, I still love
him. He's left me feelin' so blue.
   These are the blues, the blues. When you've
lost your man and been cheated on and on
and on. I've lost my man blues. Lost my man
blues.

Weeping Heart

   Shattered and broken, bloody and open
to anything but this life. Nothing
remains of happiness, crying
all alone, where no one will find me.
   Silence is my lover, blood my
one friend. Deep in sorrow I
let my weeping heart break.
Does no one see me? See my pain,
my fading face. I hang from a
breakable strand.
   Sweetly bleeding, a crying sound,
crimson staining the putrid ground.
Sweetly dying, bones all around me.
To deep, to gone, to be rescued.
   A weeping heart that has given up,
tortured soul that can't breathe. Can't
see beyond the brokenness and pain.
Empty and alone, I die.

Knife

   Oh, my steel friend.
My consort and comfort
in worst circumstances.
You bring the blood to
cleanse my soul, make
me feel whole, but remain
broken.
   Many times have I
sought your comfort.
Many times I've taken
solace in the comforting
pain you bring.
   Once again, I wish to
claim your comfort in
my shame and pain. The
scars do not go away,
but the pain does.
   The one thing under
my control is my knife.
Sometimes it feels like
you are my only friend.

California

   With eyes full of heat
and despair, liquid and
pain filled. Knowing the truth
breaks her already torn
heart. How could she have
been betrayed so cruelly
by fate?
   To resolve the pain she
felt inside, she cut and she
cried. The relief she
felt was short lived and
so she drank and cut
some more. The drinking
soothed her soul.
   Numbed and dulled by
un-relinquished pain. So she
left for a place faraway.
As if distance could heal
a wound she couldn't see.
In despair she reached out
to a friend, but even with
help, she cut again.
   To California she is
set, afraid of what hasn't
happened yet. To face her
pain she makes the
journey to California. To
possibly regain a piece of
her little girl inside. To
regain her lost self.
   Hidden from the world
is a frightened, little, girl.

Bloody Moonlight

   Bloody moonlight strewn across a path
of unkempt secrets.
   Disease and fear hold sway over
people. And deep in the dark, lie
murders untold, stories of horror
and guilt.
   Deep in September hang the souls
that have died.
   Empty eyes, soulless and dead,
watch every day pass with dread.
Despair cowers under painful
memories, nightmares untold.
   Nightmares arise in the blood
soaked skies of death.

A Circle

   In a never-ending circle of pain and despair, life
flows out. Blood and roses don't satisfy one need,
one hungry cry.
   Twisting and turning in one, never-ending, wheel.
Fresh blood flows, tears salty come searching for
the love of someone.
   Demons of murder and torment around me spin.
Tearing at my heart, breaking my apart, drowning
me in sin.
   A circle, never-ending, all around, pushing me
further towards the ground. Burying, pulling, me
under ashes of lace.

Spell of your Eyes

   I am taken under the spell of your eyes.
You make my heart skip a beat. I drown
in your eyes, I faint under your smile.
   Oh, how I love and adore you. Every piece
of my heart begs to be called yours. My
arms tremble to mingle with yours.
   How I wish there were words to speak of
the love I bear for you. My very soul weeps
at your approach.
   Drawn under your spell, I try to speak of
a love you do not know. You are the sweetest
love I have ever known.

Bleeding Earth, Broken Sky

   As if the angry storm clouds
had been given to man, the black
smoke filled the sky. Two towers,
twins in form and make, cruelly
pierced by terrorist airplanes.
   The people within trying to
escape the carnage that lay
all around. And the whole world
wept as the towers came
crashing down. Dragging
our safe world down with it.

Ashes of Lace

   'Neath ashes of lace, quiet and serene,
I wait for someone to rescue me.
   To save me from a world of cruelty and ill.
Rescue me, let not my broken heart fall still.
   Dance me into a magical place.
Where I see naught, but your gentle face.
   Pour on me forgiveness and love, joy and peace.
Put my tender heart at ease.
   Smile, but once, and will I fade
to but a pleasant shade.
   'Neath ashes of lace, we rest in a grave.
Peace sweeps over us in a rollicking wave.

Drawn Under

   I'm drawn in by the sin that lies around me.
Wearied by the struggle, I give in. Pulled down
further into what I hate. Finally, buried under
the weight of my guilt, I'm drawn under the knife.
The knife to which I give all myself.

Proud (Confessions of a Daughter)

   All I ever wanted was
to make you proud. To do
something so I might
deserve a place in your
heart. I wanted to show
you that I was worthy of
your praise.
   I wrote that I might
show you what I could do.
Doing everything with my
whole heart so that I
could say, "I'm worthy".
   All I ever wanted was
your love. To make you
proud of me, so that you'd
love me. Proud of me
for what I accomplished.
   Proud to call me your
daughter, your only one.

Release Me

  Touch my soul,
caress my heart.
Love me, shatter the
loneliness and frighten
away the pain of life.