All of Her: Epilogue

I am sitting in the rectory of a church. My bouquet of red roses and white baby's breath clutched tightly in my hands. This scene is familiar. It is because of this that I'm so nervous. My mother is puttering around behind me. She is nervous for me. I wish I could ease her fears, as well as my own.

I stand up, my long, red and white gown pooling around my feet. I am barefoot, per my soon-to-be-husband's request. I hope he will be my husband. I can't be that unlucky, right? Dumped at the altar twice?

"It's time." My mother says. She is beaming. Have I ever seen her this happy? Perhaps on her own wedding day. I smile, nervously, and squeeze her hand. She opens the door and ushers me into the foyer. Kevin and Clark stand on either side of the double doors. Two guards at the gates of the castle, awaiting their orders.

Elizabeth is my flower girl and Kristopher stands at her side holding his ring bearer pillow. Emma and Sophie stand behind me, adjusting and re-adjusting my train so that it will ripple like small waves on the shore. Anna stands beside me, smiling at her children and me. I am shaking now. Brad and my mother come up and each give me a kiss on the cheek. They slip through the doors and Greg replaces Kevin at the door.

Kevin takes my hand and we hear the music start. Greg and Clark open the double doors so that I can see the inside of the chapel. As I start to walk in, Clark winks at me. I may have made a lot of mistakes, but at least I made a wonderful friend along the way.

Against all reason, I freeze at the beginning of the aisle. At the other end is Jae, his white sherwani with dark red embroidery perfectly matching my dress. He smiles at me, that beautiful and constant smile, and suddenly I want to fly down the aisle and into his arms. I feel like dragging my brother down the aisle with me, though decorum prevents me from doing so.

It seems hard to believe that it has been five years since David and Alice broke my heart. Its been a little more than two years since I gave up on ruining myself. Its been two years since I finally let Jae into my heart far enough to make me fall in love with him. Two years falling in love. Two years realizing I was in love.

As I float down the aisle on Kevin's arm, I can only see Jae. He has his long black hair, with its signature dark red strip, down around his shoulders. Noah is standing next to him, a few tears glittering on his lashes. I can't believe this, it feels like a dream.

Anna, Sophie and Emma follow closely behind me, gently carrying the excess of my white lace veil. Greg goes over to his video camera to make sure it is recording. My mother and Brad stand off to the side, holding hands.

After what feels like a century of walking, I am presented to Lee Jae Hwa. My rescuer, my mysterious kisser, my friend and lover. The man I, finally, decided to give my heart to.

I've never been so happy.

All the heartache, all the terrible decisions, everything, was just a prelude to this moment. It seems hard to believe that five years ago I was destroyed by betrayal on a beautiful beach where the two loves of my life fell in love with each other. Its hard to believe that any of the past few years have been real.

I think of our first encounter, in the bar, and I blush. I think of that first kiss and I want to have many more like them. For years and years to come. I think of the first time I realized that I might be in love with him and thinking I was so crazy. I still think I am crazy. Crazy for waiting so long to say yes to the one who had been chasing me for years. Crazy for making him run after me and save me from myself. For everything.

I don't want to get overly sentimental, but they say a girl gets that way on her wedding day. I don't want to look back anymore, after this I am only going to look forward.

In a white and red dress, barefoot and with honey-gold curls trailing down my back, I take Jae's hand.

Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Here's to the plunge.