Honesty: To J.(C.)W.M.

Pulling my heart out on piano wire, playing out the chords that will never come. I've lost no love nor ire, just playing out my sorrow on the piano wire.

Its easy to miss you when I think I never have. Its easy to believe you were wonderful when I don't think about all you've done. This is all to say you were never the one I should've trusted, never the one I should've loved.

You exist now, simply to torment me, a rabid ghost that refuses to fade into that sweet good night. So I will sit here, writing you useless words full of useless meaning because you will never understand me and you never really knew me.

Pulling my heart out, drawing it down the spiral staircase of my ribs and down into the pit of my stomach. If I were a man, I would eat your heart to replace the one you stole, so cruelly, from me.

You weren't really who I thought you were. You were not kind, nor loving, nor caring, nor anything I would normally associate with what you were supposed to be. You were selfish and cold, rude and hateful. You were a cancerous being trapping me in the prison of my skin, cringing behind the bar of my skull.

I'm too tired to fight you any longer. Too tired to continue raging against your machinations. Too tired to wake into your reality. I know I need to let this go, stop letting you kill me with your words. The abuses, the pain, the heartbreak, the loss, I need to let it go.

Grant me this last courtesy, let me be.