All of Her: Chapter Seventeen

I take a shower and throw my hair into a messy French braid. I slip into a sexy pair of underwear, but other than that I don't dress up. I skip the bra, opt for an old "Star Wars" t-shirt and a pair of my comfiest jeans. It won't take much to seduce him. I already have the perfect set-up. We've made out before. I gave him my number. I wonder who else I gave my number to that night? It doesn't matter. This will be easy.

I head to the beach and, for nostalgia's sake, I bring along the glow stick kites. I should ask Clark to come and fly kites with me again. I miss him. I miss Jahan. I miss David and Alice. I can't let myself miss them. I'm supposed to be heartless. Heartless people can't miss someone. Especially since it is their own fault that those people are gone.

When I get to the beach, I feel a delicious shiver crawl down my spine at the memories of the last time I was here. I think fondly of that first one night stand. Well, my only one night stand. As far as I know. Every time I've passed out drunk, I've woken up clothed and alone. Totally beside the point of course. I wonder if I'll ever run into that handsome fellow again.

Adam is easy to spot, besides the fact that he is the only one on the beach. He is gorgeous and trim, wearing a "SpongeBob" t-shirt and board shorts. He is also an Albino African-American man with the most beautiful eyes and long ivory dreadlocks, the tips of which are dyed a dark purple. He smiles at me and waves. He jogs up to me and I can't help but notice how fit he is. He glows in the moonlight, a shining pearl of a man. When he comes closer I can see that he is also quite tall. Standing a whole head higher than myself. How could I have forgotten him?

"Abra?" He asks, though I can tell that he knows its me.

"Adam?" I ask, winking. "Its nice to meet you when I'm not drunk."

He laughs, a deep and rich baritone laugh. He smiles again.

"To be fair, I was a little over the edge myself that night. I'm just glad you agreed to meet up with me."

"My pleasure, of course." We set up the blanket and he helps me bury the kite handles in the sand. After we are settled on the blanket, I pour us some Bailey's into a couple plastic cups. We touch them to each other and say cheers, before taking a healthy swig. I feel the alcohol warming every inch of me, until I feel like I am filled with sunshine. It makes sense in this context; I am the sun and he is the moon. I caress his arm and smile up at him.

I lean against him and we sit quietly for a little while, just watching the kites dancing. I don't really know what to say to him. I'd like to skip the awkward small talk and go directly to what we clearly both want, but I am unsure how to take that step.

"I've never done this before," I admit, looking up into his pale eyes. This isn't entirely true, but he doesn't need to know that.

"I suppose we are supposed to make small talk and call it a first date. Or we could just call it a date where we skip the small talk and go straight into the sex." He smiles at me and then kisses me on the lips. He tastes like the alcohol and something sweeter. I don't stop his hands from roaming. I don't stop him from pulling at my clothes.

He kisses me breathless. I kiss down his ivory neck and help him take off his shirt, revealing gorgeous muscles and creamy skin. I push him back, so that he is lying on the blanket, and I just look at him. He is so captivating. I don't think I've ever met someone as beautiful as he is.

I stop all together and a frustrated moan escapes his lips. I smile, wickedly.

"Don't you want to wait just a little longer?" I say. I realize that things are getting a little too repetitive for my tastes. I can't just hop from bed to bed, or in this case beach spot to beach spot. I need something to switch it up, change the feel of things.

"No," he moans, trying to pull me down on top of him. I oblige and straddle him, but refuse to move, though he tries to move my hips. I smile again and kiss him hard.

"Let's play a game." I say.

"What kind of game?" He asks. He looks aroused and intrigued.

"We don't sleep together tonight, but we do sleep together soon. If we wait until our second date, I promise it will be worth your while. Whatever fantasy you have, I promise to fulfill it on our second date, if you agree that we don't have sex tonight."

He raises one white eyebrow and looks at me quizzically.

"Any fantasy?" He asks, skeptically.

"Any." I say and kiss him again. He moans, but he doesn't try to change my mind.

"So what do you suggest we do tonight then?" He asks. He sits up so that I am in his lap and my legs are wrapped around his waist. He holds me close like this and rests his forehead against mine.

"Be my boyfriend and I'll tell you." I say, winking and kissing his nose. He smiles and kisses my eyes.

"Okay, I'm game. I haven't had a steady girlfriend in a few months."

"Well, lover, let's go back to my place and I'll fix us a late dinner." I kiss him again. And again.

"A very late dinner." he says, glancing at his watch. "What are we going to have?"

"What do you like?" I say.

"Just about anything really. I'm not picky." He has lifted up my shirt and he kisses the place between my breasts. He lightly drags his teeth across my chest and I shiver. I feel him move under me.

"Stop." I say, giggling. "Next time, I promise."

He sighs and we disentangle ourselves. We gather up the blanket, the bottle of Bailey's and the kites. He follows me back to my place in his beat up Ford.

Once we are back at my place I begin to fix us something to eat. I fry up some green tomatoes, some turkey bacon and toast several slices of thick homemade potato bread. Once these things are done I melt some provolone cheese onto the bread and add some crisp romaine lettuce. I haven't made "fancy" BLT's, as I call them, since David moved out. I put a very thin layer of honey mustard on mine and a thin layer of regular mayo on Adam's. With the sandwiches, I serve some sweet potato French fries and a small slice of store bought chocolate pie.

I pour us a couple glasses of coconut milk and set the coffee table in front of the couch. Once everything is laid out, I turn on some music and light a couple small candles. I turn out all the lights and then lead Adam to the coffee table where we sit cross-legged across from each other.

"What do you think?" I ask, after he takes a big bite of his sandwich. He smiles while he chews and nods.

"It delicious." He says, once he has swallowed. "Where did you learn this recipe?"

"I made it up." I say, munching on a sweet potato fry. "My ex was tired of the same old, same old. So I started trying to think of things he'd like."

"And he still left you, knowing you could cook like this?" He looks surprised that anyone would leave me on purpose.

"I'm sure his wife can cook just as well as I can. I don't cook very often anymore though. I usually go out to eat."

"Do you miss him?" He asks, putting his sandwich down and looking at me intently.

"Some days, yes. When I wake up alone in the mornings, or when I am doing something that we used to do. On days like that, I miss him more than I could explain."

He nods and takes another bite of his sandwich. I am glad that he doesn't say anything to comfort me. I've had my fill of empty words of sympathy. He does look at me with a sad understanding in his eyes and, every once in a while, he will reach out and stroke my cheek. We enjoy our dinner and then play a game of Scrabble. He beats me, twice. We wash the dishes together and he wipes soap suds all over my face. We laugh and then slow dance in my dining room to a sad Japanese song.

At the end of our evening together, I thank him for everything and give him a kiss goodbye.

"When can I see you again?" he asks.

"Whenever you want to." I say, smiling. For the first time, its a genuine smile. I haven't felt this good since I was with Clark.

"What about my fantasy?" He says, winking at me.

"What do you want?" I ask, leaning against the wall next to the door.

"You dressed up as Princess Leia and me as Han Solo." He looks pointedly at my t-shirt and then back up at my face.

"Leia as Jabba's slave? Or just regular cinnamon roll hair style Leia?" I say, laughing.

"Jabba's slave. Metal bikinis are so sexy, don't you think?" He winks again, kisses me again and waves as he heads down the stairs to the parking lot. I lean against the doorframe and watch him drive off. He waves out the window of his car at me.

I sigh as I close the door. I keep finding nice, understanding, guys who make me wish I could just settle down with them. Maybe I should start trying to pick up jerks? I ponder this as I slip into some fuzzy pajama bottoms and another old t-shirt. I slip into bed, Snuggles jumping up and then curling up beside me.

As I fall asleep, I try to think of where I can go to find a Princess Leia slave girl outfit.

After work I begin my quest to fulfill Adam's fantasy. The outfit turns out to be less difficult to find than I originally thought. I go to the "Theatrics and Time Trips" store downtown where I am able to find the exact outfit for relatively cheap. All the guys in the store look as though they are about to drool as they watch me go to the dressing room to try it on. I laugh, inwardly, at how many of these guys I could get to sleep with me just by stepping out of the dressing room. They all watch as I go up to purchase the outfit and the cashier can barely stammer out my total.

I don't travel far, however. I go to the "Garden of Eden" adult store, down the street, and purchase a collar and chains to complete the outfit. The only thing left to do is style my hair, which I'll wait to do until I have heard from Adam. If he is a typical man, he will wait three or four days to call me. Savoring the sweet agony of waiting. Or, if he can't stand the waiting he'll call me tonight or tomorrow.

On cue, as I am driving home, he calls me.

"Can I see you tonight?" he asks. I can hear the excitement in his voice.

"But I haven't gotten the outfit yet!" I lie, smiling at myself in the rearview mirror.

"You couldn't find one so that we could meet up later?"

"Well, I suppose I might be able to. What time do you want to meet up?" I enjoy dragging it out a little bit.

"Ten like we did last night, if that works for you."

"I suppose that will be alright." I say, sounding a little put out.

"If that doesn't work I can wait until tomorrow, I suppose. I'm just so excited to see you, girl."

I giggle at the wheedling tone in his voice. I am truly wicked. I would never have made David wait, unless I was sick and sometimes not even then. But I have entered a new world where sex can be used as a weapon and I am the one wielding the proverbial whip.

"Well, if you truly don't care, let's wait until tomorrow. I need time to perfect the hairstyle and find a costume." I can hear him suppressing a moan, but he doesn't argue.

"If you want, I can bring dinner." He says. "I'd hate to make you work too hard."

"That would be lovely. I promise to be the perfect slave girl for you."

We don't talk much longer before I arrive home. I carry in my parcels and go into the bathroom to start on my Leia hairstyle. Once I think I have it, I pop in "Return of the Jedi", my favorite out of the original trilogy, and make some popcorn. I curl up on the sofa and lust after Luke and Leia.

I realize, with excited anticipation, I've never done anything like this before. I never dressed up for David. He could never stand for me to be clothed long enough to have dressed up. Clark never expressed any desire for me to play act, either. As to Jahan, she was new to sex as it was, without adding any extra kink to it. I find that I am just as excited by the prospect as I imagine Adam is.

To ease my excited energy, I do several loads of laundry and clean the apartment. I want everything to be perfect for him. I fix some lemon pepper salmon, a small vanilla mocha tiramisu and an artichoke and spinach salad, which I pack up to be re-heated tomorrow. I download the soundtrack to "Star Wars", the original trilogy, to a CD, and make it easily accessible.

With everything prepared I take a bath in rose water and oatmeal. I give myself a manicure/pedicure and I wear an avocado mask to bed. In the morning I wash my face and fix the little spots where my hair came out of its styling during the night. I have a light breakfast of poached eggs and toast. I go to work, feeling a little silly with my hair in Leia fashion, but it can't be helped. It would take to long to fix it after work.

On my lunch hour I call Adam and we agree to meet at my place around seven. When he mentions bringing dinner I tell him that I've already taken care of it. The only thing I ask of him is to come dressed for the part.

Everything is ready when I get home, except for me. I spritz a little sweet perfume all over my body before changing into the outfit. I warm up dinner, turn on the music and complete a few finishing touches. At seven, I am ready for Adam in every sense of the word. I am so excited I feel as though I will jump out of my skin.

I look at the clock at eight and wonder where the hell he is. This is his fantasy, shouldn't he be on time? Or maybe this is part of the fantasy he didn't share?

At nine, I begin to worry, thinking maybe he has been in some sort of accident. I text him, but receive no reply. I try calling, but only get his voicemail.

At ten, I begin to get angry. He could at least have called and told me something else came up. He could've at least done that much. Unless he was in a really bad accident. My feelings switch between anger and worry for this man I've been dating for three days.

At eleven, I give up and put the food back in the fridge. I turn off the music, change out of my outfit and take down my hair. I clean everything up from when I was warming the food and I put away the chains and costume.

At midnight, I fall asleep on the couch; torn between being furious and worried.

At one, I wake up to knocking on my door. Sleepily, I rub my eyes and stumble to the door. I look through the peephole and see Adam leaning against the door with his head down. I can't tell if he is in costume or not. I almost don't open the door, but I am angry enough to want to confront him. I fling the door open so that he stumbles and almost falls into the apartment. As soon as he falls past me I can smell the alcohol on him.

"Where the hell have you been?" I demand, shutting the door.

"I've been waiting to rescue the fair princess." He says, drunkenly. He stumbles and lands face first on the couch. He is dressed in full Han Solo regalia. I stifle the urge to laugh at him. He makes such a comic picture dressed like that and drunker than Winston Churchill. However, I don't know what he is like drunk and the last thing I want is him becoming violent.

"Adam, we were supposed to meet up at seven! It's one in the morning now. Where have you been?"

"I was out with friends." he says, attempting to lift himself off the couch and failing miserably. I help him sit up. When he is upright I see lipstick all over his shirt and his face. On his neck is a mark like a hickey. I suddenly reach a new level of infuriated.

"I have been waiting for you for six hours to fulfill your fantasy and you were out with another woman?"

"Women." He corrects. The man has balls, I'll give him that. I could kill him. I'm surprised that it actually hurts my feelings that he was off cheating on me.

"And were they worth it?" I ask.

"I tried to get away, Abra, I really did." he says, pitifully. Without warning he bursts into tears and is on the floor clinging to my leg. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me. Don't leave me. I couldn't stand it."

"Get off of me." I say, shaking my leg. "You should've thought about all that before you went out with your 'friends'."

He stands up and kisses me sloppily. I pull away and he grabs my arms, pulling me closer to him. He tries to kiss me again, but I move my head so that he grazes my ear. He starts pulling at my clothes and I slap him. This seems to sober him for a moment and he collapses on the couch and begins to sob in earnest.

"Please, Abra, give me a second chance. I promise, it won't happen again. I promise to be faithful. Please, I don't think I can go on if I'm alone again."

"You made your choice, Adam. It's obvious that you weren't actually interested in pursuing a relationship with me or this so-called fantasy. Did you do this just to humiliate me?"

"No, I swear, that wasn't it at all. I promise that I really wanted it. I still do. Please, just give me a second chance."

"I can't believe you are asking me to give you a second chance when you have just shown your true colors. We've been together three days and you couldn't keep yourself from finding another source of company."

With a jarring motion, he comes to his feet and goes toward the kitchen. I follow him asking what he thinks he is doing. He grabs a knife from the drawer and jerks it across his wrist. With a stifled scream I try to grab the knife from his hands, throwing my body between him and the knife. He tries to push me out of the way and makes another stab at himself. I intercept it and receive a small slice on my hand. When the blood pools up, he drops the knife and falls to his knees. I kneel down with him and tear a strip off of my shirt to wrap around his wrist.

The cut isn't deep and quickly the wound begins to scab. Not taking any chances I cleanse it with rubbing alcohol and triple anti-biotic ointment. I then wrap it up and lead him back into the living room. I have put a band-aid on my own cut and we sit very quietly on the couch, his hands in mine.

"Don't ever do that again." I say, quietly. Even I'm not sure which incident I am talking about, but I'd prefer that none of this happen again. He doesn't say anything, just nods. He rests his head on my shoulder and I hum a lullaby to him. It is now two in the morning and I am physically and mentally exhausted. I stand up and I wince when I see him flinch as though I were going to hit him. I hold out my hand to him and pull him up when he takes it.

We go to my room where I help him out of his ruined Han Solo outfit and into a t-shirt and shorts that David left behind and I couldn't stand to get rid of. I put his clothes into the washer and when I come back he is fast asleep. I crawl into bed next to him and sigh heavily.

This is going to be an interesting relationship, though I am sure interesting isn't the right word for it.