Chapter Three: The Wicked Bitch Arrives
Just then there was a big explosion of horrible fashion, hypocrisy and too much perfume and in front of hide stood a woman. You could tell that this woman had been pretty, once. Now she was just a glob of out of date fashion, scented with way too much perfume and a fading "Meat is Murder" button attached to her left boob, which was so full of silicon that she could've created an entire Barbie Doll army. On her right boob was a grease stain from the hamburger that was still stuck in her teeth and her hair was a rainbow of colors that should never EVER exist.
"Well, if it isn't the other Wicked Bitch. Girls, this is Twink, Wicked Bitch of the West, Wicked Bitch of the East's little sister. You couldn't, perhaps, get back in your flying house and squish this one too could you?" asked hide.
"Pretty sure that isn't how it works hide." replied Sarai.
"Who killed my sister?! Who did it?" Twink looked at the girls and pointed a greasy, half eaten, chicken leg at them. Then, looking at what she had in her hand she tossed it into the sparkly flowers.
"They killed your sister, Twink. What are you going to do about it? Grease them up and eat them?" asked hide, lighting another cigarette.
Focusing her attention on hide, Twink seemed to forget that her sister was dead and that there were some magical shoes waiting to be taken. Typical bad guy, never pays attention.
"Silly hide, I don't eat meat. Meat is Murder, you should know that. I work with PETA, I am a vegan." said Twink in a really syrupy sweet voice.
"Really? So, what is that stuck in-between your rotting teeth? Is that... Why, yes it is! It's Cow meat. If Meat is Murder, you are a murderer!"
Twink twisted her bulging torso to face the voice that had said those words, her wrath-filled gaze falling on Pomme. Pomme gave a silly smile and then once again hid behind Sarai.
"Well," huffed Twink. "I've never been so insulted in all my life. Just give me my sister's magic shoes and I'll be on my merry little way."
"Well, you can't have them." replied hide.
"Why Not?!" screamed Twink.
"Because the rightful owner is wearing them. Just look!" with that, hide pointed at Pomme's feet which were now encased inside nine inches of electric blue heels.
At first Pomme was as stunned as anyone, then she began trying to tug them off exclaiming "EW, EW! I have a dead woman's shoes on my feet! EW! EW, EW!"
Thankfully, Sarai stopped Pomme, otherwise this would be the end of our story.
"You bitch!" exclaimed Twink. "Give me back those shoes! I bought those for her at a sale, they should come to me!" Twink reached toward the shoes, but before she could touch them hide played a chord on his magical guitar that caused the shoes to shock Twink's grubby hands.
"Be gone. They belong to her now and you have no power here. Besides, I have to get out of here soon, I have a magical band rehearsal to get to."
"Fine, I'll go," said Twink. "But keep this in mind, I'll get you..."
"My pretty, yeah I know, I know. And my pocket mom too. I know the gist." interrupted Pomme.
Then, with a flash of stale glitter, Twink was gone, leaving only the stench of her perfume and a half eaten chicken leg behind.
As soon as Twink was gone, hide turned and looked at the girls expectantly. He lit another cigarette and took a puff, waiting for someone to say something. Pomme was still worrying over having a dead woman’s shoes on her feet but Sarai was ignoring her.
“So, what are you going to do now?” asked hide.
“Um, not really sure. Maybe you could tell us how to get home?” replied Sarai.
“Well, actually, I was thinking I could just give you the general direction and leave it at that. My band practice starts in five.” A magic hot pink bubble suddenly appeared beside him and he threw away his cigarette. “If I were you, I would take the Pink Gibson Road, to Pink Star City. The Wizard of J-Rock lives there. He should be able to help you. By the way, just in case you don’t quite understand, the Pink Gibson road is the only road here and it is paved with pink Gibson guitars. Have fun! Nice meeting you, hope you survive.”
“Wait a minute! You said you would tell us how to get home!” Pomme cried, wobbling toward hide and the bubble.
“Yeah, you’re right. But I have to go. I don’t have time to explain it to you. Just follow the Pink Gibson Road. You’ll figure it out.” And with that hide got in his bubble and sped off, leaving a trail of pink spider shaped sparkles behind.
“Well, that was just fantastic. What if the munchkins come back?” asked Pomme.
“I don’t know, but looks like this is the start of the Pink Gibson Road, so let’s go.” With that, Sarai took Pomme’s hand and helped her walk along the first swirl of the Pink Gibson Road.
Just then there was a big explosion of horrible fashion, hypocrisy and too much perfume and in front of hide stood a woman. You could tell that this woman had been pretty, once. Now she was just a glob of out of date fashion, scented with way too much perfume and a fading "Meat is Murder" button attached to her left boob, which was so full of silicon that she could've created an entire Barbie Doll army. On her right boob was a grease stain from the hamburger that was still stuck in her teeth and her hair was a rainbow of colors that should never EVER exist.
"Well, if it isn't the other Wicked Bitch. Girls, this is Twink, Wicked Bitch of the West, Wicked Bitch of the East's little sister. You couldn't, perhaps, get back in your flying house and squish this one too could you?" asked hide.
"Pretty sure that isn't how it works hide." replied Sarai.
"Who killed my sister?! Who did it?" Twink looked at the girls and pointed a greasy, half eaten, chicken leg at them. Then, looking at what she had in her hand she tossed it into the sparkly flowers.
"They killed your sister, Twink. What are you going to do about it? Grease them up and eat them?" asked hide, lighting another cigarette.
Focusing her attention on hide, Twink seemed to forget that her sister was dead and that there were some magical shoes waiting to be taken. Typical bad guy, never pays attention.
"Silly hide, I don't eat meat. Meat is Murder, you should know that. I work with PETA, I am a vegan." said Twink in a really syrupy sweet voice.
"Really? So, what is that stuck in-between your rotting teeth? Is that... Why, yes it is! It's Cow meat. If Meat is Murder, you are a murderer!"
Twink twisted her bulging torso to face the voice that had said those words, her wrath-filled gaze falling on Pomme. Pomme gave a silly smile and then once again hid behind Sarai.
"Well," huffed Twink. "I've never been so insulted in all my life. Just give me my sister's magic shoes and I'll be on my merry little way."
"Well, you can't have them." replied hide.
"Why Not?!" screamed Twink.
"Because the rightful owner is wearing them. Just look!" with that, hide pointed at Pomme's feet which were now encased inside nine inches of electric blue heels.
At first Pomme was as stunned as anyone, then she began trying to tug them off exclaiming "EW, EW! I have a dead woman's shoes on my feet! EW! EW, EW!"
Thankfully, Sarai stopped Pomme, otherwise this would be the end of our story.
"You bitch!" exclaimed Twink. "Give me back those shoes! I bought those for her at a sale, they should come to me!" Twink reached toward the shoes, but before she could touch them hide played a chord on his magical guitar that caused the shoes to shock Twink's grubby hands.
"Be gone. They belong to her now and you have no power here. Besides, I have to get out of here soon, I have a magical band rehearsal to get to."
"Fine, I'll go," said Twink. "But keep this in mind, I'll get you..."
"My pretty, yeah I know, I know. And my pocket mom too. I know the gist." interrupted Pomme.
Then, with a flash of stale glitter, Twink was gone, leaving only the stench of her perfume and a half eaten chicken leg behind.
As soon as Twink was gone, hide turned and looked at the girls expectantly. He lit another cigarette and took a puff, waiting for someone to say something. Pomme was still worrying over having a dead woman’s shoes on her feet but Sarai was ignoring her.
“So, what are you going to do now?” asked hide.
“Um, not really sure. Maybe you could tell us how to get home?” replied Sarai.
“Well, actually, I was thinking I could just give you the general direction and leave it at that. My band practice starts in five.” A magic hot pink bubble suddenly appeared beside him and he threw away his cigarette. “If I were you, I would take the Pink Gibson Road, to Pink Star City. The Wizard of J-Rock lives there. He should be able to help you. By the way, just in case you don’t quite understand, the Pink Gibson road is the only road here and it is paved with pink Gibson guitars. Have fun! Nice meeting you, hope you survive.”
“Wait a minute! You said you would tell us how to get home!” Pomme cried, wobbling toward hide and the bubble.
“Yeah, you’re right. But I have to go. I don’t have time to explain it to you. Just follow the Pink Gibson Road. You’ll figure it out.” And with that hide got in his bubble and sped off, leaving a trail of pink spider shaped sparkles behind.
“Well, that was just fantastic. What if the munchkins come back?” asked Pomme.
“I don’t know, but looks like this is the start of the Pink Gibson Road, so let’s go.” With that, Sarai took Pomme’s hand and helped her walk along the first swirl of the Pink Gibson Road.
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